DJ Gorena

Life as I see it

Insights on Fatherhood…as of late

Here I am…a father of five years…learning how to be a dad. I’ve made some right decisions and some bad decisions. I’ve made some easy decisions and some hard decisions. All-in-all, if there’s one thing that I’ve learned, I now know why parents are so tired all the time!

Just kidding! I’m learning a lot about fatherhood. Just a few things I’d like to mention in this post are:

  1. Fatherhood takes a lot of work. I need to do my best all of the time. There is no relaxing when it comes to being a dad. My two sons have a needs. They need me to be on my game all the time (not my Gameboy, or my PS2, or my Wii, or my Xbox, or whatever game!!). They need me to be their dad all of the time, not just when I “feel” like it.
  2. Fatherhood takes a lot of time. I need to give my time all of the time. I have always wanted to control my time the way I wanted. If I wanted to take the time to nap, then I took a nap. If I wanted to watch TV, then I watched TV. If I wanted to go out and do whatever, I did whatever. I’m discovering that my two sons want me to spend time with them…paying attention to them…giving them my time. (I’m still working on this one because I’m still selfish when it comes to my time, but I’m starting to get the message on this one.)
  3. Fatherhood takes a lot of love. I need to show my love all of the time. This is hard sometimes when I expect my two sons to already know everything that I do. After all, they should know it all, right? Wrong! They’re boys and they’re still growing up. I’m supposed to be teaching them and they are looking to me to teach them how to be men and if I don’t love them enough to teach them, the world is willing to teach them everything that it loves–and the things the world loves is not a pretty thing. I need to love my two sons enough to teach them in the way they should go: the way of righteousness, holiness, love, nobility, peace, courage, boldness, strength, honor, and integrity.
  4. Fatherhood takes a lot of patience. I need to give my patience all of the time. I lack patience most of the time. I have to be honest on this one. I lack patience. Sheesh! That’s hard to admit, but it’s true. Even when I pray for patience (and that’s not often!), I still struggle with it, but I need to show my two sons patience. They are boys who need a father who lovingly shows patience as they are finding their way in this life with me patiently helping them to see the Light of the world.
  5. Fatherhood takes righteousness. I need to be a righteous father. In all my dealings, I need to seek to be righteous in all that I do. Whether it be in speech or in deed, I need to be right according to a right and moral standard. The only right and moral standard that I know is the Lord Jesus Christ and His Word, the Bible. Therefore, I need to read it and study it and live by it to the best of my ability. My two sons need to see me living a life of righteousness to the best of my ability.
  6. Fatherhood takes responsibility. I need to live a life of responsibility. I need to make sure that my bills are paid on time. I need to show them how to show up on early to church, to work, to events so my two sons know that it is important to be responsible in every area of life. They need to know how important it is to know how to carry and shoot a firearm and that they are used for hunting and for protection of oneself, never to kill or to maim another human. They need to know that it’s my responsibility to teach them the Word of God and to live out my Christianity before them by teaching them verbally and by showing them that I live according to what I believe.

These are just a few things that I’ve been learning over these last five years. I still have so much more to learn. What would you add to this list?

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When Hurt Comes Your Way

It’s sad, but it’s also true. People hurt people. They hurt people with words. They hurt people physically. They hurt people sexually. People just hurt people. They kill. They destroy. And when hurt comes your way most of the time it comes in the most unexpected ways from the most unexpected people in your life. You would like to think that it wouldn’t happen to you, but it does. Life just happens that way. Hurt happens because humanity is fallen and life just hurts sometimes. You want it to change and I guess it can but it can only change with you because you can’t change anyone else. But then again, you are still susceptible to being hurt again.

You say that you won’t make yourself susceptible to being hurt again, but the possibilities of being hurt again or endless. You can try to build barriers and walls. There are emotional walls that you can build, but there are ways that people can figure out to break through those walls. The physical walls that people build to keep others out can be destroyed with armaments and other devices. Let’s face it, you can try to keep yourself from being hurt but it’s virtually impossible because there’s going to be one assault after another against us from the world.

So you decide to isolate yourself. But what good is that going to do for you? Not much. You end up getting very lonely and then the mind itself begins to attack. There’s no safety in one because there are many thoughts. Although you may think that you are safe by yourself you have so many differing feelings that rampage through your brain that sometimes you cannot even tell which way you are going. One day you’re up and the next you’re down. One day you’re going to the right and the next day you’re going to the left. You never know where you’re going, you’re just going there, wherever there is. Then, just when you think you’ve arrived, hurt is there to greet you.

Hurt is everywhere you go. You can run from it, but it is there. You can try to hide from it, but it is there. Trials and tribulations abound because there are people around you let alone yourself and the problems you cause yourself. We live in a fallen world. Hurt is going to come your way no matter what.

My question is this: Is there anything that you can do when you are hurt? Is there any respite when hurt comes your way? Is there truly any hope for us when hurt comes our way?

I believe that there is. Yes, it may have seemed as if I painted a picture that there was not, but it was intentional. Going through difficult times is inevitable. These tough times will happen; it’s just part of life, but there’s hope even in the tough times. Listen to the hope that the psalmist had:

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God. (Psalm 43:5, ESV)

Again, the psalmist says:

The LORD sustains all who fall and raises up all who are bowed down….The LORD is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him; He will also hear their cry and will save them. (Psalm 145: 14, 18-19, NASB)

The psalmist’s belief and understanding was that God Himself was his refuge, his rock, his salvation when hurt came his way, when despair was a part of his life, when depression or hard times were present. He leaned on Him and went to God for his comfort. He says:

My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be shaken. On God my salvation and my glory rest; the rock of my strength, my refuge is in God. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. (Psalm 62:5-8, NASB)

When hurt comes your way–and it’s going to come your way–to whom do you turn? If it is anyone other than the Lord, then I would suspect that you will find no true respite, no true refuge, no true rock. In God you will find your stronghold, your shelter, your salvation. In Him you will find the One who will save you and redeem you. In Him you will find peace even when hurt comes your way.

Side by Side

Saints and sinners, side by side,

Protecting and protesting, side by side,

Some meant for good while others meant for evil, side by side.

Police knew the facts of the perpetrator while the people knew little, side by side.

Some thought they knew the man who was killed when they knew him not, side by side.

Politeness started out well then punkiness ended it all, side by side.

Some went for peace while others went for violence, side by side.

What’s the solution? Is there a solution?

Politicians think that they know while pundits say they don’t, side by side.

Southerners say manners matter while northerners say money matters, side by side.

People out west say that Hollywood matters while Wall Street says Dow Jones does, side by side.

What truly matters is what Jesus said, “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.” (John 3:16-17)

God the Father sent His Son, Jesus Christ, side by side, into the world that He might save us.

Now we can be saved and walk side by side with Him.

(To know how you can have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, connect here!)

 

 

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