Two Years

It’s been two years since my twin sister passed away. Denise was full of life and she loved it. If there was something that was important to her it was the relationships she had with people. She loved people. Even if she was crossways with someone, it seems that there was always some sort of reconciliation between her and others. I know that if we ever had a problem with each other, she was always the first one to apologize. She did not like for me to be upset with her and I did not want her to be upset with me.

As I have been thinking about Denise a whole bunch this week, I miss her more than I ever have. I wish I could hear her voice. I can’t remember her voice. I wish I could hear her sing: “Lord I lift Your name on high / Lord I love to sing your praises / I’m so glad You’re in my life / I’m so glad You came to save us!” These were the words to the last song I heard my twin sing. Beautiful. My Cheryl joined in and sang the song with her and they sounded heavenly to me. Today, I wonder if she is singing that song with the masses of people who have gone on before us–the great cloud of witnesses standing before the throne of Jesus Christ. The colors that they are seeing, the voices they are hearing, the sights and the sounds they are experiencing must be more incredible than anything that we have ever imagined.

I often will be driving down the street and when I see a driving school car, I think of how Denise taught many students how to drive. Now, if you ever rode in a car that she was driving, you’d laugh at the thought! She drove as fast as she could wherever she was going. Sometimes she scared me with her driving, but as twins, I scare others with my driving! She received three boxes a couple of weeks before she died. These boxes were from her second grade classroom and she said to me, “Twenty-five years of teaching wrapped up into three boxes.” I retorted, “No, twenty-five years of teaching and over 500 second graders who are going to change their world!” She grinned and thanked me for the encouragement. It broke my heart to hear her. She was a great teacher. I would go to her classroom around our birthday and read to her second grade classes. She loved to introduce me and I was so proud to watch her teach her kids. She loved them–even the troubled ones–and they loved her.

I’m pretty sure Denise is having the best time she has ever had. There may be those who don’t believe in an afterlife, but we do–Denise does. We believe that you will either spend eternity in heaven or in hell and that it is by faith in Jesus Christ and in Him alone that you can be saved from your sins and the ultimate judgment of hell. Denise believed this as well and I dare say believes it more today than she ever has. She is experiencing what she was waiting for all of her life–what I am waiting for in my life.

The last time I spoke with Denise, she was lying in bed with her eyes closed. She couldn’t speak. I was holding her hand and letting her know how everyone loves her and how much I would miss my twin sister until we meet again. She let out a long groan. I wonder what she was trying to say to me. I’ve often thought she was telling me that she loved me and that I should not worry about her or that it was alright for me to cry. I think she was trying to let me know that she was proud of me, my Cheryl and my two sons. She loved us so much. I think maybe she was telling me to take care of my brothers and sister and parents. I’m not sure what she was saying, but I laughed and she seemed to have a grin on her face. She loved to laugh and play and joke around and be serious.

I miss my twin sister. I look forward to seeing her again. I can’t wait to speak with her to find out what she was trying to say to me. I love you, Denise, and I miss you so much.