The Hiccups, Snapping Belt and Apple Sauce Incident

by djgorena

So my two-year-old has had the hiccups this afternoon ever since I arrived at home. We tried everything to help get rid of them. My wife scared him at dinner time and they seemed to stop for a few minutes. Then, after hiccuping for several more minutes, I told my wife that I had shown my two sons a trick with my belt. That’s right — a trick with my belt. You know the trick: you fold your belt and with both your hands you snap the belt together.

Anyways…back to the hiccups. My son, after eating his plate of food, was asked by my wife if he’d like to have some apple sauce. That’s right — some apple sauce. I decided, in the most cunning way I could devise, to get my belt from my room, come up behind my two-year-old and snap my belt to scare the hiccups away.

Well, what transpired next was totally unexpected. That’s right — totally unexpected. Apparently, if you happen to come behind a two-year-old who has the hiccups while he is putting his spoon in his apple sauce and you happen to snap a belt behind him to scare said hiccups away he will inadvertently sling apple sauce all over the place! That’s right — all over his neck meat, his shirt, his booster seat and the floor.

Now the moral of the story is this: stepping in apple sauce that you thought you cleaned up off the floor feels really gross between your toes if you happen to be barefooted. That’s right — barefooted.

P.S. My wife is still rolling her eyes at me…

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