The Hiccups, Snapping Belt and Apple Sauce Incident

applesauce
Source: https://healthyafterschool.files.wordpress.com/2014/10/applesauce.png

So my two-year-old has had the hiccups this afternoon ever since I arrived at home. We tried everything to help get rid of them. My wife scared him at dinner time and they seemed to stop for a few minutes. Then, after hiccuping for several more minutes, I told my wife that I had shown my two sons a trick with my belt. That’s right — a trick with my belt. You know the trick: you fold your belt and with both your hands you snap the belt together.

Anyways…back to the hiccups. My son, after eating his plate of food, was asked by my wife if he’d like to have some apple sauce. That’s right — some apple sauce. I decided, in the most cunning way I could devise, to get my belt from my room, come up behind my two-year-old and snap my belt to scare the hiccups away.

Well, what transpired next was totally unexpected. That’s right — totally unexpected. Apparently, if you happen to come behind a two-year-old who has the hiccups while he is putting his spoon in his apple sauce and you happen to snap a belt behind him to scare said hiccups away he will inadvertently sling apple sauce all over the place! That’s right — all over his neck meat, his shirt, his booster seat and the floor.

Now the moral of the story is this: stepping in apple sauce that you thought you cleaned up off the floor feels really gross between your toes if you happen to be barefooted. That’s right — barefooted.

P.S. My wife is still rolling her eyes at me…

Sunday Review, March 17, 2013

Sunday was a tough day. It started on Saturday morning. That’s right…you heard me! The weather plays some ugly tricks on my head and I had a migraine that hit me Saturday morning. By Sunday morning it was full-blown pain and agony. But by God’s grace I was able to preach a couple of sermons.

You: How did you do?

Me: Uh…well…I guess you’ll have to listen to the messages so you can tell me.

Sunday morning’s message was entitled “It’s Time to Grow Up!” found in Hebrews 6:1-8. It is one of the hardest passages of Scripture to preach because it is so controversial. There are unfortunately many in the church today who believe that they can lose their salvation. And those who tend to believe this take this passage as a passage of support. However, the writer of Hebrews is speaking of a believer who puts to open shame the Christ who has saved them by their denial of His Person and Work. There is a truth here that says that there are those who have done this very thing and are past the line of no return. In other words, they have seared their consciences so that they will never be able to get back to a blessed life with Christ. Tragic as it is, this is what the writer was telling us. (Click to listen to the message here!)

Sunday evening was a celebration…then a bitter time…then a celebration once again! Exodus 15 is just that and the title of the message was “Celebration…then Bitterness…Bitterness Made Better.” The Israelites were celebratory concerning what God had done to Pharaoh and his military. You remember from Exodus 14 that God drowned the whole lot of them. So the Israelites celebrated what God did, then they traveled in the wilderness three days journey and didn’t have any water. When they stumbled onto an oasis the water was bitter. But God told Moses to throw a particular tree in the water and the water ended up being the best tasting water that the Israelites had ever had. (Click to listen to the message here!)

Sunday Review, March 10, 2013

Sunday, March 10, was a great Sunday…as far as I remember! I was out on vacation this past week and just don’t remember much about it. I don’t know if this lack of remembrance is willful or not, but that’s where I am as I sit down to update my blog! I do know that I preached a message from Hebrews 5:11-14 entitled “We Have Much to Say.” (You can listen to the message by clicking here!)

Sunday evening I know that I preached a message from Exodus 14 entitled “In the Nick of Time!” I do know that God saved the Israelites just in time as the Pharaoh was about to slaughter them if he could. But God did this to show Pharaoh and the Egyptians that He is Lord (YHWH in Hebrew meaning “Covenant-Keeper”; our God is a covenant-keeping God; He always keeps His promises). (You can listen to the message by clicking here!)